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Meanderings of a Teenage Mind

The following was written by my daughter when she was 15 years old. 

Short, dark beauty. Understated. Confused. Self-conscious. But isn’t every teenager?

It’s a battle. A fight for survival. Only the strongest will survive. If you can’t protect yourself in the wild you will be killed. Only he who is smart enough to make the fire or strong enough to fight off the beast can survive in this cruel world.

Live spelt backwards is evil.

Ain’t that the truth. It’s like we are put on this earth to be tested. Those who can’t handle it kill themselves. Some crack under the pressure and kill others. Those who arn’t smart enough to do it themselves steal, lie and cheat. Only a few learn what they have to learn and make it to the top. Others wallow in self pity. Some stay in stasis. Never moving , never growing as a person. That seems like everyone nowadays, doesn’t it?

Sometimes I just sit and stare and all the people walking down the road. They are all in a hurry. But are they actually getting anywhere?

We rush through life … for what?

Up at 6, sometimes earlier, only to get home at 6 in the night. An 8 to 16 hour work day.

What purpose does our life serve?

People say I overthink things. What? As opposed to not thinking at all?

I’d rather do the former instead of the latter. One person does something and our mind compels us to follow. That’s what we are taught from day one …  isn’t it?

Listen, follow, do.

Those who question get punished. Authority…  self appointed leaders over something. Something makes them“special”, doesn’t it? That is why their word it law and that is why (when an authority figure talks)  we are compelled to listen and believe.

Believe.

You can only spell believe with lie” in the middle. Our beliefs are formed around lies. Just the like the word.

Who gives these people authority? Who says that what they say is the truth?

Faith.

What is faith? The blind belief in something.

I go to church  twice a week and they say; ” have faith”.

But why? Thinking like this makes me a sinner.

My soul is now damned.

But who says that theirs arn’t? I mean isn’t lying a sin?

Now think about this …. if what the priest preaches isn’t true, doesn’t that make it a lie?  And doesn’t it mean that for centuries of generations we have been lied to?

Now isn’t that a sin?

I mean a white lie is bad, but this belief, this blind faith has caused many innocent deaths. So indirectly that is murder! One of the biggest sins out there!

Wars have been fought, countries divided, people divided because of this very belief.

What is the point?

Isn’t the purpose of belief to unite and make the world a better place? When in actual fact it segregates us more?  It causes conflict.

We all talk about a Divine world of peace, unity and freedom. But our belief in this Divine world makes our actual world fall apart.

Just take a look around and you will see that what I say is the truth.

I’m not a pessimist. Actually I think myself quite the opposite. Though I’m an optimistic person, I’m also a realist. I not only look at the positive, but at the ironic and funny side of life too. The only difference I see in myself is that I can’t conform. I have questions that I want answers to. I’m curious and honest. I don’t want a fantasy of how they say it should be. I want the truth. And I’ll do what it takes to find it.

Many won’t approve of my point of view. I mean my comment about “belief” might offend more than a few people …. but what if I’m right?

People say life is full of “what ifs”. And if you live by them then you’re never going to get anywhere. But I don’t see “what if” as a bad thing. Of course I don’t mean wallowing in the past, and past mistakes. I mean what if I tried this?

 What if I learnt that?  What if I questioned him?

It gives me focus in my life. As long as you remember where you are coming from and don’t ever backtrack.

I’ve recently learnt that life is cruel. People are cruel. And those stories parents like to let their children believe about a beautiful, just world, is another belief that isn’t true. If everyone embraced the concept that – working together is better than working against each other – then we wouldn’t be humans.

I mean what is a human?

An individual. In – divide – you – all.

Meaning we are all unique right? Even though it sometimes doesn’t appear that way. With all the conforming we do on a daily basis.

 Divided.

I couldn’t think of a better word to describe our attitude toward things. People are divided. Always have been and probably always will be.

 A few great leaders in our past tried to unite our race, and only got so far.

 But look at us now.

We are in the 21st century and we seem to have regressed. All this technology and higher education hasn’t done anything for us. Or so it seems….

We build more,

Destroy more,

Cheat more,

Kill more,

Study more,

Work more

And hurt more.

All for what?

Our world is dying.  And so are our souls. We work to“survive”.

MONEY.

That’s what it is about. Everything we do its money orientated. But all of this is killing us.

Our souls are dying.

We arn’t fufilled.

We arn’t happy.

Our world is dying.

Natural disasters and climate change are a sure sign of that. We talk about it, sure. But no one actually does anything about it. Its all, “lets make a hydro-car” or “recycle”.

What will all of this mean in the end?

Will our divine world accept a bribe?

All that money that we have aquired through not so favourable means for a good life on earth, will that serve us any good when there is no earth left?

I’ve heard many arguments.

“you only have this life”

“I’ll be dead long before the world ends”

“they deserved it”

“I’m just doing what I need to”

Typical human responses. But I can’t blame them. I mean who am I? I’m just an individual with a laptop, music and an opinion. I’m just pointing out what I notice. It’s ironic…

Those who are the first to complain are the last to actually do something about it. You might think that I’m complaining.

This is no complaint.

Just a mere statement of fact. These are things people hardly think about, if ever. I can’t really blame them though. I mean our authority makes sure that the majority don’t think too hard about these things. That’s how they keep control.

I mean imagine if everyone just one day said:

“No! enough is enough”.

Imagine if we all went off the grid. Back to the old ways of farming and hunting, though only a handfull actually know how.

Imagine if we all burnt our money.

Imagine if everyone shared, not stole, but shared.

If we worked on a trade basis. Like in primary school … “I’ll give you 2 Winnie the Pooh stickers for one Dress Up sticker”.

If everyone was actually equal, not just on some piece of paper, but in actual day to day life.

If the only belief that people had was that strength is in numbers, that one unit working together is better than 1000000000000 units working against each other.

If only.

There are so many questions that I have.

That many people have.

Some ask, and become outcasts.

Some think about it … but eventually forget.

Some don’t care.

Others go out of their way to prove it, spending their whole life chasing their theory, that they forgot the reason behind what they were doing.

Then you get the portion that just doesn’t think. Period. Full stop. Ever.

What category do you fall under?

Most likely, you think about it but never ask.

But if you were to ask who would you ask? I mean nobody has these answers. Nobody wants these answers.

The answer to Life.

I think it scares us. It scares me. That’s why society tries to focus our attention on the non important stuff.

The latest phones, laptops and fashion. I won’t lie, I buy into it as well.

Everyone does.

But isn’t that what they want? Aren’t we doing exactly what they want?
We are letting them keep control!

Of course we are …

I mean that’s how it’s supposed to be, right?

Right.

What if we actually got the answers we were looking for?

What if we actually found out the truth about religion?

What if we knew what created this planet, solar system and universe?

What if we knew where animals and humans really came from?

 I mean, where did the bacteria and cells come from?

How did the universe form in such a way that it can keep planets?

And how did the planets form in such a way that only one in our soloar system actually has life on it … that we know of?

Why Earth?

Why are we the way we are?

What is the function of the 3 toes in the middle of the other 2?

Why are there diseases?

Why do we need to drink water?

Why weren’t we made to survive on food alone?

I mean considering we’re surrouned by deserts.

Why do we eat?

 Why doesn’t our body just absorb energy from the sun?

Why were we born with the capability to think when it is apparent that most people don’t?

Why were we all made unique?

What purpose does it serve when we change ourselves daily to conform, to fit in or to just be the same as those around us?

Who came up with “common sense”? Because it isn’t common. So why call it common sense?

Did someone just come up with oxymorons so that they could say the word “oxymoron” and sound smart?

Why is it called oxymoron?

Isn’t the person that came up with the oxymoron, an oxymoron?

What is normal?

What is weird?

Why is it natural for us on to give birth to one child when some people give birth to three?

Why does our body excrete a hormone that makes us think babies are adorable? Does it not trust us to love the child unconditionally if it didn’t? Or does our body know us well enough to know that, without that hormone, the lack of sleep and tireless screeching would make us murder the child?

I could go on….

But my point is that we would rather focus on the questions we can answer, rather than those we can’t. No one likes not knowing things.

It’s human nature.

We want the answers to everything.  And we are very good at convincing ourselves that we do know all the answers.

Convincing, lying …. What’s the difference?

What do you get out of  this post?  I feel hopeful about a new generation which questions the “status quo”!

2 Responses to Meanderings of a Teenage Mind

  • marvi says:

    Darling girl, your thoughts are very deep, but too dark!!
    Life is what it is and often it’s a bitch, but take what you like and leave the rest… don’t over-think!
    I agree with you: the bigger picture is quite bleak, but you can change your world and you do that every day, by being what you are! If each one of us did the same, we would all be better and happier…

  • Karyn says:

    All worthy thoughts. You are a woman-becoming indeed.

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