Our Dark Demon – By Victoria Rinfreschi

The following is an original post by a 16 year old.  It is published uncut and unedited.  The photo credit also goes to this multi-talented young lady.
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Covers.

As plain as the nose on my face. Accepted, admired even. But underneath, something rarely acknowledge. A dark demon. An eater of souls. It’s our greatest defeat.

6 years, and not a word. No happy birthdays or loving charismas cards. No I miss you and I love you.

6 years.

During that time I grew up, just as the black hole of emptiness grew darker, wider. Only one person could have filled that hole. But she abandoned me. At the insecure age of 12 my “grandmother” returned into my life, disappointed at the lack of a bouncy, bubbly, loving, trusting presence. The presence of a little 6 year old girl.

My greatest defeat. Her lack of acceptance. My greatest defeat. Her lack of approval.

My greatest defeat.

One year.

A year of puppy love and misplaced innocence. A year filled with laughs and stupid conversations. Belonging. A modern day Romeo and Juliet. Except this Romeo was a fake. My misplaced trust and naïveté landed me in a romance destined to fail.

“Hi, my name is Tristan.” The only truthful statement he ever made.

Now here we are, 12 months later, the morning of my granddad’s death. The perfect time, don’t you think? To air his dirty laundry.

My greatest defeat. His lack of honesty. My greatest defeat. My wasted love. My greatest defeat. My stupidity.

My greatest defeat.

Behind every smiling eye, is one filled with tears.

Masks.

Everyone has one. Showing it off to the world. We celebrate it. And when cracks start to show? We plaster over it. Covering the darkness, because we wouldn’t want anyone to see. And if someone happens to catch you at a moment where your cracks are starting to show? Well they don’t dare to ask. It’s not accepted. It’s not wanted. No one cares. After all they have their masks too. The ones they are busy patching up.

An endless loop, one with no break. The more we ignore it, the more the demon is able to feed. It feeds off us every day. And one day. We won’t be able to cover up the cracks left behind after the earthquake. One day a tsunami will arise. Unstoppable. Uncontrollable. And that mask will be gone. And so will everyone else.

We try so hard to protect ourselves. Certain things, no one cares to know. It’s been decided, by someone with a self-proclaimed importance. It has been decided, so it shall be.

But it doesn’t have to stay that way. Our demon feeds on our darkness. On our unheard cries, our unsaid thoughts. It feeds off our lack of acknowledgement and our misconceptions.

It feeds off our isolation.

I think it’s time to starve our demon. It’s time to stop plastering up the cracks. It’s time to let the demon out, because once he is gone, onc犀利士
e you are able to let it go, he will no longer have control over your life.

So I’m going to take off my mask, and let my face feel the soft, warm touch of the sun. I will let myself truly breathe for the first time.

I will revel in my freedom.

Will you?