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Paralysis By Analysis, Good Intentions and Procrastination

I have pretty much allowed this blog to die but, as a wise friend just reminded me; “…writing has always been one of your passions. This is not a passing phase or frivolity with you.”  This begs the question; why have I not been writing?

The sad truth is that I suffer from Paralysis by Analysis compounded by low self-esteem and procrastination caused by perfectionism!  Allow me to elaborate.  Due to the fact that I don’t think I’m good enough, I try to “analyse” what I should / could do better and end up stuck in an “if then” loop.  Just like a computer that freezes!  Instead of trusting my instincts (which, ironically, is what I always advise others to do) I keep on worrying that if I write about this or that topic then people won’t like me / like the way I write / they’ll misunderstand my intentions etc.  Basically this then “paralyses” me and I don’t write anything at all!

As if that isn’t bad enough, when I finally get “unstuck” and actually write something, I leave it in draft mode because I don’t believe it’s good enough to share!  Every time I write something, I always have the best of intentions.  Yet, so often, I leave a post unfinished because it doesn’t meet my perfectionist standard!  Ironically I’m never critical of other people’s posts 犀利士
(even when I pick up grammar and / or spelling mistakes) because I look past that to their message.  Invariably, I leave them a positive comment to encourage them.  This begs the question, why can’t I be as kind to myself as I am to others?

I call myself Phoenix because I’ve been burnt (psychologically) and this is supposed to be my “rebirth”.  Like the Phoenix I should rise from the ashes of my past and fly off, triumphant. Yet I still find myself chained by the same fears and feelings of worthlessness.  It doesn’t look like this Phoenix is going to fly anywhere anytime soon!

I once read that the first step towards wisdom is the acknowledgement of one’s own ignorance and failings.  I’ve totally mastered the first step … I just have no idea how to take the next one!!

16 Responses to Paralysis By Analysis, Good Intentions and Procrastination

  • Dear Phoenix, please keep writing! I totally know what you mean! I also started writing because of a traumatic event (a “well-meaning person” called me a child abuser and called the police on me because my child had a temper tantrum), and I couldn’t believe how good it was to have a platform to reach out for support.
    So many times I wanted to stop because I felt I wasn’t good enough for this…I’m glad I didn’t! And I’m pretty sure that your readers don’t care whether your post is good enough, whether it has mistakes or not. I’m not a native English speaker and continue to write in English I also make mistakes… Just as you say- we are our worst critics and are more understanding of other people than we are of our work. Please keep writing…Good luck!

  • Nicole Melancon says:

    You have to keep at it and don’t ever doubt yourself! You have many people reading your blog and supporting you so never give up! Sending you hugs! :)

  • Simona, my brother (who’s a “real” writer) told me that if you doubt yourself, write yourself into a corner, never think anything is good enough, can’t think of something to write about then…. well… you are probably a writer. ; )

    I think s many of us have your same struggles. I work on blog posts over several days – just spew something out, let it sit and then tweak it. It’s laborious, and I’m jealous of those more prolific bloggers who seem to just pound out brilliance on a near daily basis, but it works for me. I write when I have something to say, but don’t force it. That helps. I manage about 6 posts a month, but any more and I think the quality would go down (if it’s “up” to begin with…) Anyway, I’m glad to see you diving back in and can’t wait to read more!

  • If By Yes says:

    You gotta blog. It definitely helped me get my writing juices flowing again. Don’t wait until you have something important to say. Instead, as you go about your day, look for something to talk about. A funny thing that happened to you. Something you saw that bothered you. Eventually you get in the habit of looking for blog posts in daily life, and pretty soon you can’t wait to share.

  • Phoenix,

    I love your writing. Always know that you blog is always there for you. When you are ready!! Keep writing!!!!! You are such a great virtual friends to others. I’m so glad we’re all over here supporting you today!

    Jen :)

    • phoenix says:

      Thanks, Jen, if it wasn’t for you, I wouldn’t even have started this blog! The World Moms Blog Community is totally AWESOME and I feel really blessed to be part of it! :)

  • Ruth says:

    “Paralysis by analysis” – Gosh, you are the second person who mentioned this recently and maybe it’s a message that God wants me to hear! I can identify with that, that’s one of the reasons it took me so long to start my online biz. Maybe there’s something else I need to find the courage to work on. If you’ve not written this post, I wouldn’t have received the message. Thanks for sharing.
    And keep writing, Phoenix! Find a comfortable pace, even if it means just once a week, or twice a month – whatever. Write because of your love, write from your heart. That’s all it’s required :)

    • phoenix says:

      Thank you, Ruth! “Find a comfortable pace” is good advice … I’ve always been an “all or nothing” type of person! Time to stop being so hard on myself! :)

  • Karyn says:

    Oh, me too!

    One word at a time, sweet friend. One word at a time. xx

  • Nihad says:

    One of the tips a life coach has mentioned about what to do when you are stuck in writing is to commit to have a daily routine of writing for a specific time (15 min for example) and if you don’t know what to write just write that you are stuck and can’t write. You may repeat the same sentence, the essential is to keep committed to this routine until you get unstuck. Hope it helps :)

    Good luck :)

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