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Is This What a Mid-Life Crisis Feels Like?

What is my purpose?

Apart from having given birth to two amazing young people, what legacy have I left if I were to die today?

The truth is that I spend an awful lot of time doing nothing of any real importance.  I haven’t even kept up writing in my journal, never mind posting meaningful content!  I feel stuck and pretty useless.  Am I having a mid-life crisis?

On the positive side, I’m so blessed in so many ways!  I have an amazing husband who is super supportive of me and everything I do.  The best son & daughter any mother could wish for.  I have many Facebook Friends who are always ready to send me love & support.

On the negative side, living with chronic pain and fatigue is exhausting and demotivating!  I try so hard to stay positive and not to let my Fibromyalgia affect the lives of my loved ones.  Unfortunately, I feel that (most days) I’m losing the battle.  All I want to do is sleep, because that’s the only time I’m not in pain!  I’ve already spent thousands on different doctors, therapies and medicines, all to no avail.

I’m 44, my grandma is 87 and still going strong.  This could easily be the “halfway point” of my life!  I don’t really know what the next 44 years hold in store for me.  I do know, however, that something needs to change!

I wrote the above on 5 February 2013 and not much has changed!  

I’m now 47 years old, my 90 year old grandmother is still going strong, and my “baby” daughter is turning 20 tomorrow.

I only started writing again (for World Moms Blog) last month because (apart from my Fibromyalgia) I developed another auto-immune disease that made it painful to type, and exacerbated my general pain and fatigue.  Luckily my new Specialist has started me on a new medication that helped me get back to “normal” pain and fatigue. So, I’m back to where I was 3 years ago!

Thank you to all of you who have stood by me during this difficult time. I’m sincerely hoping that I can continue to get better犀利士

Watch this space …

The picture has a Creative Commons Licence

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