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Life As A Movie

Have you ever reminisced with someone regarding something you did together, only to have the other person tell you that you’re wrong and then give you a completely different version of the same story?  Have you ever walked away from that discussion thinking to yourself  “I wonder why X lied, after all I was there and I know the truth!”  Has it ever occurred to you that you might both be telling the truth – AS YOU KNOW IT?  How can different versions both be truth? Perception!

I once read (apologies to the author … can’t remember who are!) an article which compared Life to a movie.  Each of us have the “Starring / Lead” role in the movie of our life but only feature as “Supporting Cast” or even as “Extras” in the movies of the people we interact with on a daily basis.  This theory really resonated with me.  I started thinking about “Life As A Movie” and a lot of past “hurts” just melted away!  Here’s why:

The first thing you need to get clear in your own mind is that, despite you being the “Star” of your life movie, you might just be an “Extra” in someone else’s life m犀利士
ovie.  An “Extra” is pretty much part of the scenery and nobody really pays much attention to them.  The value placed on the exchange between the two of you will vary depending on the role you assign to the other person.  Hurt feeling and misunderstandings tend to happen more when someone you consider part of your “Supporting Cast” actually gives you inferior “billing” as merely an “Extra” in their life story!  Am I explaining myself?

Obviously all this is subconscious – hence the “baggage” we tend to lug around our entire adult lives!  Try and visualise your life as if it really was a film set.  Now think about someone whom you think was inconsiderate to you or with whom you had a disagreement.  Now think about the rest of the “cast” of your life and (if possible) the “cast” of the other person’s life.  Do you see where and how the misunderstanding could have happened?

I had to do this exercise today, because yesterday I had a very hurtful conversation with my mother.  Our relationship history is frought with pain and misunderstandings.  I want it to end.  I no longer want to engage at this painful and destructive level. 

I used to think that my mother had “selective memory” at best or was a pathological liar, at worst …. then I tried to look at her life with her as the Star and me as the Extra.  Seen in this light, I realise why we’re not “connecting”.  I kept on trying to make her part of my Supporting Cast … but to her, I’m just an Extra – it can never work!  You might think that this is a “sad” or “bad” state of affairs, but it really isn’t!  Looking at our relationship in this way just gave me a different perspective on things.  I don’t need her to be part of my Supporting Cast! I feel quite confident that now that (at least in my own mind) I know which roles we each play, we will be able to live the rest of our lives in harmony.  After all, it takes two to fight … and I’ve thrown in the towel!!

Does the theory of “Life As A Movie” resonate with you, or do you think I’ve finally, really lost my mind?

What techniques do you use to make sense of why your life is the way it is?

6 Responses to Life As A Movie

  • Lady E says:

    I think you read my mind… The last week has been fraught with conflict in my work environment, and because of the nature of international schools, (where everyone is tight, and like family) I have allowed myself to be greatly impacted by it. Tonight I kept reminding myself that I do not have to engage. When I step out of the ring, the conflict cannot carry on. Or at least, if it does, I won’t be a part of it.

  • Maman Aya ;-) says:

    It sounds like you have a similar relationship with your mother as I do with mine…. Although my mother thinks she is the star of my movie as well as her own… I really like the film analogy – it makes perfect sense and just put into words what I have not been able to. When in the thick of it, I usually try to step back, take a deep breath, and remind myself that this too shall pass.

  • Karyn says:

    I agree with you, and it’s a great way to look at relationships. I shall consciously steal this for a week or two and see what happens…

  • thanks for your post

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